Today was a relaxed day for Meena. She woke up very late that day as late as 7AM, but since her natural alarm was already set at 5 AM she was just bidding her time to get up as much late as she possibly can. She freshened up, made her tea with just a little bit of ginger and more milk, just the way she enjoyed it the most and sat down to drink it. The Newspaper came in just in time at 7.30 AM, she went about reading it. After a while, she got up to cook breakfast and lunch for herself, however slow she wanted to go she could not stretch the time past 10 AM. Presently, she had no idea what she was supposed to do for the remaining time till she had to make her dinner in the evening.
After all, today was a relaxed day for Meena, a relaxed day which spent 35 years in the making. A relaxed day after 35 years of juggling, multi-tasking. Yesterday was her last working day in the company- ABC Pvt. Ltd., where she had relentlessly worked for the last 35 years. She had joined this company when she was merely 23 years old for the need of money. She had joined temporarily as a book-keeping clerk. As the 35 years went by, she grew within her role, climbed up the corporate ladder while facing personal losses. She perceived for 35 years and she retired yesterday from the position of Senior Finance Manager, who was overseeing the entire process of Accounting, debtors, creditors, payroll. She had a workforce of 30 people working under her. She retired as the best leader of the company, a leader who ensured a growth of all their sub-ordinates. She was looking after 30 people yesterday and now today she had no one to look after.

Meena was married at a young age of 22 and came to Mumbai with her husband and his parents from her small village in East of Maharashtra. She was a B. Com graduate at that time, with a dream of becoming a wife and growing up old with her husband and her kids. But fate had something else in her store. The money was tight, and she had to join ABC Pvt. Ltd. and put into use her B. Com degree. This company proved to be her saviour. She had her first kid, a daughter, when she was 25. A second kid, a son when she was 28. She took small maternity leaves, both times when her children were born, but she had to join back work soon after that. Till this day, her biggest regret is that she was not able to spend time with her kids when they were babies and needed their mother the most. Those few months were extremely difficult for her. She was after all away from the most precious pieces of her heart. When Meena was in office, her in laws used to look after her kids. As soon as Meena’s footsteps entered the house, those little angels used to cling to her like monkeys. They just kept clinging on her when she made dinner after coming from home, served eat and cleared it. Their little brains could not comprehend how tired their mother must be, they just wanted to be with her a second longer till she would leave for work again in the next day morning.
Her typical schedule when the kids were young was like a fight with the clock’s fingers. She used to wake up at 5 AM in the morning every day. Freshen up and quickly start making lunch boxes for herself, her husband and kids for their school. When this was done, it would be 6.30 AM in the morning, then she would awaken her husband and in laws. She would then quickly make tea for all, a special tea as per all their own preferences. Without sugar for her diabetic mother-in-law, mild sugar for her husband and with more water for her father-in-law and mix of all for herself. They would all enjoy the tea together for 15-20 minutes until it was time to wake up the storms (her kids). She would wake them up at 7AM, the next hour was always a blur where the kids amidst their fighting got ready for their school. To save some time, she used to pack their school bags in the last evening itself. She used to make breakfast for all during whatever time she got during the time the kids got ready. Their buses for school used to at 8.15, their father usually dropped them to the bus and went to his own work post that. After the kids left, she would make lunch for her in-laws, which was typically low in sodium content due to their medical condition. Then she used to re-freshen up quickly, catch a local of 9.28 AM and used to reach her office by 9.45 AM. 15 minutes later than everyone else in the office. As everyone says, Mumbai runs on the clock, even if Meena used to a minute late for anything, her entire timetable at office would crumble.
In office she quickly would start her day- to day tasks. Handle complaints, sat through the meetings offering her inputs, handled audits, handled adhoc requests, handled change requests everything efficiently. Every manager that she had had always praised her work ethos and her ability to handle every task with efficiency. She won awards as “best employee” & “most dedicated employee”
several times during her tenure in the company. She learned on job and ensured to deliver the best she could. She had some friends in her office, she would enjoy the rare bits of free time in office with them, used to do “chai pe charcha” (talking over tea) with them. During the quick lunch breaks at 2PM she would eat with her friends and then quickly call over to her in-laws if all was well and whether the kids had come home safe and sound. She could not digest her food without the news from her home. Later after the packed office hours, she used to leave in the evening and catch the local of 6.37 PM and reach home by 7 PM. She would then make dinner with her clinging kids keeping her company. All would have dinner by 8.30 PM, then she would clean the kitchen, wash excess utensils, start the washing machine and then hang the clothes. Her mother-in-law used to clear them and tidy them the next day. She would sleep at 10.30 -11PM after all her tasks and wake up re-energised for the next day at 5 AM. This went on for several years. She went through the ages of 25 to 40 as if she was in a whirlwind. One night when she slept, she was 25 and next day when she woke up she was already 40 years old.

When she was 40 years old and both her children were old enough to take care of themselves, a storm entered her hectic life. She lost her husband and both her in-laws in span of two years. Her entire world turned upside down. She passed through the days as if she was a ghost. Her kids especially her daughter was her biggest support during these tumultuous times. Her company and her colleagues also were there for her during her difficult days. Post that, the years around Meena went by very slowly at the speed of a turtle. Both her daughter and son helped in the daily household chores, the way she had taught them. They both slowly grew up into an intelligent youth of today. They diligently attended colleges got their respective degrees. Her daughter became an engineer and went to Germany on scholarship to study further. She soon got married and is now settled in Germany with her husband and a small baby boy. Meena’s son went to Delhi for a job and is now settled there. He got married also just last year and is now working in Delhi with his newly wed wife. Meena is alone now. She lives in centre of hustle bustle in Mumbai with no hustle bustle in her boring life. Since, yesterday was the last day of her company as well, she truly has nothing in her hands right now. Life is empty for the first time in the last 35 years.

She was home for a week after her retirement, doing just the routine tasks of her life, but she was bored beyond her wits in just 7 days. Her work colleagues came to meet her after a few days and kept her updated about the new office gossips, updates about her replacement in the office and so on. She soon realized she was no longer interested in these boring details. She had moved on from her office days. But then now what? Her mind riddled with questions like -Now what am I supposed to do for the remaining years of my life? Am I supposed to do nothing till the time I die? When will die? Is there anything left to do in my life? She was passing these days with her television on, but not really watching it. Keeping a book open, but not really reading it. The question-for what am I living? was in her mind day and night with no answer in sight. She would call her kids and they would ask her how she was, and she would convincingly lie that she was absolutely fine and was enjoying her well-deserved alone time. Her son one day suggested her to do something she liked during her alone time. That thought was very weird for her to imagine. “What do I like?” she thought to herself. In the last 35 years, she had not done anything which was for herself and just herself. Every dish she made was according to the taste and liking of her beloved people. Everything she did was for others; she did not realize the last thing that she had absolutely loved and she wanted to that for herself. She absolutely had no idea about what she liked. Was her life just supposed to be a tool for enabling other people’s lives? Please don’t fret here, for Meena absolutely loved doing things for her family, sacrificing herself for her family and their wellbeing. She was pretty happy when she was of any use to her family. She loved them deeply and she loved working tirelessly for them. She did have a tiny bit of periods in those 35 long years where she was completely tired, especially during these times her husband would take the family on short trips and picnics as much as their money permitted them. Meena used to revitalize herself in these small periods and re-energize herself for the next 2-3 years. Her husband also loved her dearly and saw her tiring herself out. He would help her as much as he could in her hectic days. Her in laws also saw how much Meena was working and took care of her kids very lovingly. Her kids also loved to spend time with their grandparents.
But presently, Meena pondered over what she herself actually likes for a really long time. She started day-dreaming of her school girl self. To help her understand what her past self liked to do, what she liked to eat during her school days, what were her hobbies and all. One day she was sitting in the balcony of her 2BHK home with a cup of tea in her hand (with ginger just the way she enjoyed it the most) when it began to rain. She sat watching the raindrops for a long time and then she suddenly recalled a memory of a typical monsoon day of her childhood. She recalled that she had come home running from school her school to save herself from the rain. As soon as she entered her home, she smelt the wonderful odour of her favourite vegetable in the making. The smell of lotus leaves vegetable. She had not made this vegetable since the time she got married since her husband and in laws had absolutely disliked this vegetable. Thus began her search for the recipe with which her mother had made this vegetable, to search in wonderment as to how her mother used to make this vegetable at the same time crispy, spicy and sweet as well. She scorched you-tube for perfect recipes, made 3-4 trial versions as well. She only ate lotus leaves vegetable for the next time 5-6 days. She made different versions of the vegetable, tried adding/ removing this or that ingredient. But still none of the recipes she tried gave the same result as the one her mother had made. Destitute, she gave up her search for the perfect recipe shortly.
Some days went by again when she was bored beyond her wits again when she accidently found it. “The perfect recipe”. It happened by-chance itself. She was going through her old things which she bought from her home when had gotten married. She had written down her mom’s recipe in her diary before she got married. There were so many such recipes in her diary, little unreadable due to years of non-usage but readable enough. She made the lotus leaves vegetable the same day and ate it for dinner. Her eyes welled after the first taste of the vegetable. It was perfect, just the same as how her mother had made it. Slowly in the next few days she tried all the recipes written in that diary and teared up each time she tried something new. She made online version of recipes in her diary and emailed it to her daughter and son to try it on their own. They did try it and loved it. These days she was happiest she had ever been in a long time.

This incident opened a closed pandora’s box in her heart and mind. She started thinking that “if I can find the old recipe that my past self loved, I can find my past self as well. My past self was hidden due to my day-to-day struggles after getting married, but I am now ready to uncover and find that old me.” This was a turning point of her retired life. This came almost 6 months after her last working day. But as they say anytime is good enough to start/ restart your life. That is true in this case. We ourselves have this in our hand to turn our life around 360 degrees on any given day. You don’t need any auspicious/ holy day or a muhurat for that.
She soon started recalling the hobbies of her school and college self. She used to enjoy playing badminton with her friends. She used to spend many evenings entirely dedicated to this sport. She loved to play cards as well. In the summer holidays when the temperatures used to be at peak, she and her friends used to gather around in someone’s house and play cards for hours. She used to love helping her mother make pickles especially during the summers. But more important than all these, she remembered the time, when she used to sit on her bed till long in the night crocheting. She loved making different designs, shapes, different things/ animals using her crochet. As soon as she started thinking about her crocheting, she wanted to start it again.

One evening, she went to a nearby market and bought a lot of wool, yarns and other items needed for crocheting. She came home, pretty excited to crochet again as she used to. But she soon realized, her knowledge in crochet was practically very abysmal right now. She was heartbroken that she had now forgotten her most cherished hobby of the childhood. She cursed herself for not pampering herself and doing some crocheting in the years in between. Now to crochet again she had to start from the scratch itself. She was down due to this, but she had not given up hope.
She realized that today is a generation of internet, she just typed crochet arts on you-tube and she got heaps of videos online teaching how to crochet. She tirelessly watched this and tried on her own. Her first few designs looked like haphazard bird’s nests, but she improved slowly and steadily giving a tough fight to a turtle. In the end just as slow and steady wins the race, she remembered her old lost skill and even improved it ten folds. After all she was “the most dedicated employee” of her old company. She had nothing if not for perseverance. She initially always looked at her hobby of crocheting as just that a hobby. But soon her home was filled with numerous beautiful designs, that she realized that she can sell them as well. For the first year, she was just making them for fun and her entertainment and giving them to her ex- colleagues for their important parties/ events/ promotions, giving them to her neighbours and relatives when she met them. But soon however, the word of mouth spread and she got her first order from her neighbour’s relative. She then realized the business potential in her crocheting.
She made the animals from crochet as per her first customer’s requests and earned her first money post her retirement. This was the first money she had made doing something she absolutely loved and cherished from her heart. She was thrilled. She slowly started getting more customers, more complex orders. She delivered them happily. But currently all her customers reached her through a middle person itself. Her products were not reaching far and wide. She realized that she needs an online presence for her products. She approached her daughter-in-law whose work was in social media marketing. She presented her proposal to her, she helped Meena set up her social media page and taught her how to handle and promote her products via this. This page proved to be a hit in 2 months time. She shortly had to employ two part time workers under her. Some of customers became regulars, she quickly developed a deeper friendship bond with them. She was happy now.
One day she realized, whether the job/ business that we may do. Whether it be our passion/ something we like or not, we need a break once in a while. When she became tired of her crocheting one day, she thought she deserved a break. She just sat down that day and booked a flight to Germany. She went there to visit her daughter and her family. Soon she started taking such breaks in between. She travelled all over Europe and the entire India in the next 10- 15 years. She enjoyed her life as she saw fit. She is extremely happy now in running her small business. I wish Meena all the best for all her future endeavours.
To all the retired, working, housewives, students, would be married, newly married women and girls out there. Take out some time for yourselves. Find your passions. Follow your passions. A bit of time that you spend on yourself boosts your inner peace, your mental health and would go a long way in keeping you happy. Find the inner child in yourself and pamper & cherish it with all you can give it. You can change your life any day that you want to, you just need to be courageous enough and self-confident enough to do it.
A very important thing every woman should realize is that we need little breaks in between. When life gets to tiring, do something else than your regular routine. Our mind is not supposed to be engaged in same activity day in and day out, it requires some different fodder to generate new ideas and secrete happy hormones. Be happy my dear women and do something which your heart desires.